What causes low libido?

Contrary to popular belief, not everyone wants to have sex 24/7. It’s common for sex drives to fluctuate from day to day, and many people simply have less interest in sex. It’s all normal!

Low libido (aka low sex drive or minimal interest in having sex) is a common concern that affects women or people assigned female at birth (AFAB). Relationships, lifestyle, and medication are potential factors. Having a low sex drive isn't necessarily a cause for alarm, but it can have an impact on your life and your relationships. Read on to find out what can cause a low sex drive and what you can do to increase it.

What is libido?

Libido is your sex drive or desire to have sex. Initially used as a catch-all term for sexual desire coined by Sigmund Freud, the modern definition encompasses the emotional, psychological, and physical aspects of sexual attraction and activity. Not only does libido vary significantly from person to person, but lifestyle, mental health, emotional health, and physical well-being affect it.

How common is low libido?

It’s pretty common for someone to experience low libido or a lower sex drive at some point in their lives. Even though these fluctuations are normal, persistent low libido is something that you may want to look into if you feel concerned. Talking to your doctor or a therapist can help you explore any underlying causes.

What’s the deal with low libido in women and people assigned female at birth?

Anyone with a uterus and ovaries experiences a naturally fluctuating libido both within the menstrual cycle and over the course of their lifetimes. Some report heightened libido around the time of ovulation (mid-cycle) but a lower libido during other times of the menstrual cycle. It is also natural for sex drive and overall interest in sex to change as we move through puberty, menstruation, pregnancy, and menopause. Not wanting to have sex isn’t abnormal, but if it’s consistent or causing distress in your relationship or other aspects of your life, you may want to explore the underlying causes.

What are the symptoms of low libido?

Symptoms can include:

• No interest in sexual activity. If you’re normally into having sex but feel disinterested or not in the mood for the next go-around — that's pretty normal. But if it happens frequently, this might be a sign that something else is contributing to a lower libido.
• No sexual fantasies or thoughts. Not sure where all your sex fantasies or “spicy” thoughts went? Can’t remember having them in the first place? Sexy thoughts and fantasies often correlate with overall sexual desire. Not having them isn’t necessarily cause for concern, but try to notice if they relate to a lack of interest in having sex, or if you've noticed a significant reduction in sexy thoughts or just getting turned on.
• Feeling stressed or concerned by lack of sexual activity or fantasy. Feeling stressed or concerned about a lack of sexual activity or sex drive is a key indicator of low libido and can impact your overall well-being even more. As with most things, stress will only make it worse!

What causes low libido?

There are a variety of factors from relationships to medication that can impact your sex drive. Here are some of the most common:

• Relationship issues. Your relationship, as awesome as it might be, can affect your sex drive. Communication problems, lack of trust, or intimacy issues can sometimes make people want to have less sex. Even the desire to have sex with your partner can fluctuate or diminish over the course of your relationship, especially if underlying relationship issues aren't addressed.
• Medical conditions that affect sex drive. Blood flow, blood pressure, an underactive thyroid, hormonal abnormalities, and pain are all factors that can have a substantial impact on your body physically and mentally. It’s only natural that they could directly affect your sex drive as well. Don’t freak out, but some medical conditions that can cause low libido include:
  • Cancer
  • Chronic kidney disease
  • Chronic pain
  • Diabetes
  • Heart disease (like high cholesterol)
  • Hypertension (high blood pressure)
  • Hypothyroidism

These conditions have other symptoms besides low sex drive, so don’t assume that low sex drive means that you have cancer. But if you have been diagnosed with a medical condition, keep in mind that it may be the cause of a low sex drive and chat with your doctor about solutions.

• Hormonal fluctuations. For people with ovaries, this is a common one. Our hormones change significantly over the course of our lives, and can be impacted by hormonal birth control, diet, lifestyle, pregnancy, and even breastfeeding. Some may have an increased libido during pregnancy, while others don’t. Menopause, which is when your ovaries stop producing eggs, can lead to decreased estrogen levels and ultimately a decline in libido.
• Mental health conditions. Just as stress affects your body, so can mental health conditions like depression and trauma. Neurotransmitters linked to depression can contribute to low libido. Trauma related to previous sexual experiences can also impact your sex drive. When your comfort and desire for sexual activity goes down, it can cause you to want to avoid it altogether.
• Medications. Medications that affect your blood flow or hormones can directly affect your libido. Certain medications linked to decreased libido include:
  • Antidepressants
  • Antipsychotics
  • Birth Control/Hormones
  • Chemotherapy
  • Blood Pressure Medications
• Stress. It’s no secret that stress impacts everything. High levels of stress, regardless of what it’s related to (work, family, relationships, etc.), can lower your sexual desire. It also interferes with hormonal balance, which can lower your libido.
• Fatigue. When you’re exhausted, no matter the cause, you’re not up for doing much of anything. But persistent fatigue, whether due to a busy lifestyle or other health issues, can zap your energy for sexual activities.
• Recreational drugs & alcohol. A drink now and then shouldn’t impact your sex drive, but too much can stall your libido. That goes for recreational drug use, too. Vapers and smokers take heed as well: Nicotine also impacts your sex drive by decreasing blood flow.
• Aging. Depending on the person, age can also play a big role. We experience hormonal changes and shifts in our overall health as we age and that can influence how much we want to have sex or if we want to have sex at all.

How do you treat low libido?

A low sex drive doesn’t have to be permanent. Depending on the underlying cause, there are many ways to rev things up again, some more involved than others.

• Hormone therapy. For women or people assigned female at birth experiencing hormonal imbalances, hormone therapy may be a viable option. This can help regulate hormonal levels and improve your libido.
• Medications that boost libido. Certain medications are designed to enhance sexual desire and function. As with any new medication, consult with a healthcare professional to see if they're right for you.
• Working with a sex therapist. Sex therapists are qualified psychologists, doctors, or healthcare professionals who specialize in problems dealing with sexual activity or low sexual desire. Sex therapy involves exploring and addressing psychological factors that may contribute to low libido and help you overcome them.
• Reducing alcohol and recreational drug use. It could be as simple as a lifestyle change. Cutting back on alcohol or drugs could help increase your desire for sex.
• Reduce stress. Stress can play a big role in reducing libido, so try to lower your stress levels by getting a good night’s sleep, exercising, eating healthy, and nutrient-dense meals. You can also explore self-care practices like massage or a luxurious bath if that’s your thing.
• Addressing mental health concerns. If depression is suppressing sex drive, talking with a therapist and/or considering medications may be the next step. Alternatively, if you’re concerned that an antidepressant is making your sex drive worse, talk with your doctor about other treatment options.
• Plan a sexy date night. Set the mood and spend an evening connecting with your partner. Try new ways of being intimate and turning each other on. Exploring each other’s erogenous zones, lightly touching, kissing, and telling each other what you find attractive about each other can all help you get turned on and increase your desire for sex.

TLDR: It’s ok to have a low libido.

Don't want to have sex? That's totally fine. We’re not all horny and ready to go all the time – and we don’t need to be. However, if a consistently low libido is cause for concern, you can get help. Much of the time, the issue is rooted in our mental or emotional health. That said, be sure to speak with a doctor or healthcare professional to see if there are any underlying physical conditions.

While we love to share useful and helpful information, the above shouldn’t replace the advice of your healthcare professional. For questions about birth control and other women’s health issues, please talk to your doctor.